


Only In My Dreams

by ranp0



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Inspired by a Harry Styles Song, M/M, Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein-centric, jean and marco dream of each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:26:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29915490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranp0/pseuds/ranp0
Summary: College students Marco and Jean have been having dreams of each other from their past lives
Relationships: Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Sasha Blouse/Niccolo
Kudos: 9





	Only In My Dreams

"We're the first line of defense against secondary disaster," She bluntly states. "We'll lament the fallen after we've done our jobs. Is that understood?" 

Of course, she knew that losing a loved one was hard but it was a dire situation, and being sentimental right now would be slowing that down. Jean sighs, Fighting the urge to throw up; both from the stench of the rotting corpse of the man he loved, Marco Bodt, but as the memories come back of how he never got to say that he loved him one last time, he was sick to his stomach.

"He was a member of the 104th Cadet Corps," Jean's breathing stutters "captain of Squad 19. Marco Bodt"

-+-

Jean sits up in his bed quickly, breathing picking up with tears in his eyes. It was still dark in his room, only light coming from the open laptop at his side he had forgotten to close. Wiping off the tears still running down his cheeks and sighing haggardly, he turns his body slowly to the nightstand on the side of his bed to get the ibuprofen kept in his bottom draw for whenever he gets the headaches that grow after the nightmares he's been stuck with for most of his life. 

"Fuck" Jean breathes out, swallowing the two pills that laid in his hand just seconds ago dry, not wanting to get out of his bed for water in fear his knees might buckle up and he'll collapse.

Jean couldn't stand the nightmares he had. They've only ever been the same repeating dream of a man he had never met, and they always left him with a tight heart and a massive headache. He was 13 when the dreams that torment him on a nightly basis started. He woke up in cold sweats night after night, crying about the picture of the body of a dead man he didn't know that was stuck in his brain. As much as these terrors terrified him, he felt too vulnerable to go to his parents; who at the time were going through a divorce so he kept quiet about it, instead, trying to draw conclusions from the internet. As Jean grew older and his self-image was more clear to him, he became more insecure about his dreams. The thoughts of other people finding out he was dreaming about a man's death and making fun of him filled his mind and kept it to himself despite his blunt personality. 

For some reason, this nightmare felt more personal and more traumatic; seeing the flame in which Jean presumes Marco's body is being burned in. Parts of bone and ash lay in his hand, which he doesn't know is even Marco at all; all he knows is that Marco died and needed justice. Remembering this, he could feel his heart rate pick up and his body going numb. He closed his eyes to try to get everything to stop, but that caused everything to start spinning around him. Pictures of a man, not like the ones he's seen in his past dreams, but a man with beautiful doe eyes and a more beautiful smile. This 'Marco' guy was wearing a uniform of some kind and he was a few inches taller than Jean, but he had a kind face and gave off a pleasant vibe. Jean felt safe in the presence of these "memories" as his face softens and his breathing and heartbeat begin to go back to their original pattern. 

"I don't think you're a good leader cause you're strong," suddenly there's a voice, "I think you're a good leader because you know what it is to be weak" Jean's eyes begin to well up again as he hears an oh-so-familiar voice talk to him. He knows he has never met Marco ever but he just felt like he was someone he loved. He felt butterflies in his stomach and his face became red as Marco continued talking. Jean starts to fall back down into his bed as Marco's voice lulls him to sleep. 

An Alarm wakes Jean up from the sleep-like trance he was in. His eyes still felt scratchy and puffy from crying but he sits up and checks to see what time it is. Upon looking at the numbers on the top of his phone, he freezes.

"Fuck, I'm late for class."


End file.
